SCRIPT - BRR FF R4 vs Jyves

Byako Round Robin Round 4 Script
Mack and Sam vs Jyves

*apartment--Mack is sitting at his desk reading Red Harvest; Sam is sitting on the cot playing WA4.*

*long shot of them sitting far apart, facing away from each other*

(sounds from the TV): Jump! Once more! Attack! Accelerate!

(more TV sounds): I'm pretty confident in everything from the neck up.

*Mack turns the page*

*rumbling and a huge noise--and a strong wind blows in through the open window. Papers are blown around, and some of them hit Mack in the head*

Mack: SAAAAM!!

Sam: It wasn't me! *innocent look*

*the floor starts shaking*

Sam: Gah! What was that?!

Mack: ... *runs to the window*

Mack: ...?!

*Cad is in a helicopter, hovering right in front of the apartment window.*

Cad: Hi! *grins and waves*

Mack: What the--?!

Cad: Sorry to bother you and all, but I'm kinda lost... Do you happen to know if a "Mack and Sam" live around here?

Mack: Who's asking? *glare*

Cad: Uhh... Well, I have a special delivery from Clan Kanareshii.

Sam: Delivery? *Sam walks up beside Mack*

Cad: Yeah, I've got a for--

Cad: Say... Don't I know you guys from somewhere?

*flashback to "Finger"*

Mack: ...we've never met before.

Cad: That's weird, 'cause I could've sworn--

Mack: Nevermind that! We're Mack and Sam.

Cad: Oh...

Cad: OH! Okay, I'll just set the fortress over here then.

Sam: Fortress?

Mack: Hold it right there, bub. I don't remember anything about ordering a fortress. What's the big idea?

Cad: Well, all BRR contestants need a fortress for this round.

Mack: ...

Sam: You mean... We've got our own fortress?!

Sam: AWESOME! *runs for the door*

Mack: Hey wait-- SAM!

Sam: *running down the stairs* Wheeeee! Fortress!

*Sam runs out of the building and suddenly skids to a halt*

Sam: ...huh? *looks up*

*shot of Sam staring up at the Briefcase*

Sam: Er... There's gotta be some mistake...right?

Cad: Nope, this is it! We put your profiles in the fortress generator and...well...

*Mack shuffles over*

Mack: ...that's it? That's our "fortress"?

Mack: Oh, that's just great! Everyone else probably has a castle or tank or something heavily armed--and we'll go in fighting against them with a goddamn BRIEFCASE!!

Cad: Hey, don't go blaming the mechanics. We just followed the blueprints.

Sam: Well, it could be worse, Mack... We could have ended up with a giant pink heart-shaped fortress that shoots Cupid arrows or something.

Mack: ...you're insane.

Mack: How the hell did you get it to fit in the street, anyway?

Cad: *shrugs* It's Byako.

Mack: *facepalm* ...PLEASE tell me that it at least comes with some sort of weapon.

Cad: Even better! *takes out a remote control and presses a button*

*the Briefcase opens up to reveal the town of Dal Segno.*

Mack: .................

Sam: WOW! Our own portable paradise!

Cad: Well, I gotta go make the next delivery.

Cad: She's all yours! *hands Mack the remote*

Mack: Gee, thanks.

Cad: Don't mention it!

Cad: Just let us know if something needs fixing! *waves and leaves*

Mack: *mutters* Like your hair?

Sam: Wait... Haven't we seen that guy some--

Mack: NO.

*Mack and Sam stare at the front of the Briefcase*

Mack: How the hell are we supposed to get in?

Sam: Uhh... Try the remote?

*Mack struggles with the remote*

Sam: Maybe if you pushed a button?

Mack: Which one?! They're all the damn same!

Sam: Gimme that... *takes the remote and tries a button*

*a ladder pops out and lowers itself*

Sam: There we go!

*they climb up the ladder*

----

*they reach the main gate*

Sam: *reading the sign* "Welcome to Dal Segno"

Mack: Why do I get the feeling I'm not gonna like this?

*they walk through the gates*

*the streets are deserted, but music can be heard in the distance*

Sam: *looks around* Gee, I wonder where all the people are.

Mack: Don't tell me we inherited a ghost town...

Crew1: Hey, it's them!

Crew2: Hit it!

*one of the crew members puts on a record*

[the crew greets them with a welcome song]
Crew1: ~Welcome to our town!~

[Insert more lyrics here... Something mentioning the features of the town--bars, pubs, inns, hotels...something like that. -Kenton Alkemi 7/18/08 1:20 PM ]

Mack: What the--? Just who ARE you guys, anyway?!

Crew1: ~We're your crew, we're your crew
We're not lying, bub, it's true!~

Crew2: ~We look the same with different names,
But not one of us is blue!~

*the three pose*

Crew3: Though we are kinda lonely...

Crew2: No one visits us much, you see.

Crew123: ~But loneliness doesn't stop us from dancing 'round with gleeeeeeeeeeee~

Crew 1: Dance break!

*Sam snaps his fingers and taps along to the beat of the song*

Sam: Heey, this tune is kinda catchy!

*...then he joins them in dancing*

*Mack stares in disapproval, then rubs his temple in frustration; he notices a nearby cafe*

Mack: Give me a minute...

Sam: ~Alright, whatever you say~ *singing and dancing with the crew*

*Mack enters the cafe*

Clerk: Welcome! What can I get for you?

Mack: FINALLY someone with some sense!

Mack: One coffee, please.

Clerk: Coffee?

Barrista: Did he say coffee?

Clerk: The man wants a coffee!

Clerk: ~In the afternoon along with a guest,
Or in the early morning cramming for a test~

Barrista: ~There's only one drink that fits the situation,
Trust me--the barrista knows best!~

Clerk: I gotta have coffee--the only drink for me!
I gotta have coffee--it's way better than tea~

Barrista: How do you take your coffee, anyway?

Clerk: Black--as my soul!

Barrista: Ouch!

Mack: ...can I have my coffee now?

*the two ignore Mack and continue to sing*

Barrista: ~Way down among Brazilians coffee beans grow by the billions
So they've got to find those extra cups to fill--~

Clerk: ~They've got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil!~

Mack: ARGH! Forget it!

*Mack storms out while the clerk and barrista keep singing*

Clerk and Barrista: ~We gotta have coffee--as strong as can be!
We gotta have coffee--it's our job, you see!~

Clerk: ~Without my coffee, I'll continue to snore~

Barrista: ~And if I don't get my coffee, the morning's just a bore...~

*Clerk and Barrista finish up their song*

Clerk: ...hey, where'd he go?

*back outside*

Sam: I'm starving. Let's find something to eat!

Mack: Fine, whatever!

Sam: Uhh... *looks down the street and points randomly* What about that place?

Mack: I DON'T CARE! Just get me away from these idiots!

*they enter the restaurant*

*the wait staff rises to break into song; Mack stares in disgust*

*Mack leaves, dragging Sam with him, before the wait staff can start singing*

Sam: Ow! What are you--

Mack: We're leaving.

Sam: What about lunch?

Mack: There's a place across the way.

Sam: But we're right here!

Mack: I can't STAND this town! No wonder people don't want to live here!

*long shot of them walking towards the "restaurant," the fortress*

----

*Mack and Sam are sitting at a table. Mack browses the menu, while Sam looks around at the decor*

Sam: I think the restaurant at our place looks better...

Mack: Bull. I'll be damned if I have to sing for my supper.

Sam: ...isn't that what we already do?

Mack: ...

Mack: Shut it! *picks up a dinner roll (Hot Cross Bun from Odin Sphere) from the table and throws it at Sam*

Sam: OW! *the roll bounces off his head and rolls onto the floor*

Sam: *picks up the roll from the floor* ...

*...and takes a bite*

Mack: What's a French place doing serving Italian food, anyway?

*Sam shrugs*

Jyves: Hi! What'll you two be having today?

Mack: I'll try the pasta alfredo.

Sam: Pizza! The daily special, please.

Jyves: Oh! That's one of my favorites! *big smile*

Jyves: I'll be back with your orders in no time flat!

*Jyves runs off to the kitchen*

*Mack and Sam sit in prolonged silence; Lemeza is eating curry in the background*

Sam: ...so...

Sam: What d'you think's gonna happen this round?

Mack: How should I know?

Sam: Didn't we get a letter about it the other day?

Mack: ...

*Mack fishes through his pockets and takes out the letter*

Sam: You didn't even open it!

Mack: Why bother? Not like it'll tell us anything useful.

Sam: Well, you don't know until you try.

Mack: FINE! Anything to make you happy. *scowl*

Mack: *opens the letter* Round four, blah blah blah, the usual...

Mack: Here we go--"Enclosed is a photo of your next opponent."

*Mack unfolds the rest of the letter, but there's no photo. Then he turns over the envelope and shakes it, but nothing comes out*

Mack: WHERE'S THE PHOTO?!

Sam: Don't look at me...

Mack: *throws the letter and envelope on the floor* I TOLD you it was a waste of time! They didn't even mention anything about fortresses!

Jyves: Here you are, sirs! One pasta alfredo and one daily special.

Sam: *looks* Salmon, green onion, and cheese?

Mack: *stares at his plate* ...jalapenos?

Jyves: I thought I'd spice things up a bit with a little variation!

Mack: What kind of idiot puts jalapenos in pasta alfredo?!

Mack: *pushes away the plate* Send it back and tell the chef that I want some REAL food.

Sam: Uh...Mack...

Jyves: ...

Jyves: *steaming* YOU WOULDN'T KNOW REAL FOOD IF IT CAME FROM A FIVE STAR RESTAURANT!

Mack: Neither does the chef, apparently.

Sam: Mack, I think he's the chef. *points*

Mack: What? *turns to stare at Jyves*

*Jyves is looking down and sees the envelope (addressed to Mack and Sam) and letter on the floor*

*Mack looks, too*

*Jyves checks his watch, which reads: "Round 4 Opponents: Mack & Sam Shennigan*

Jyves: *close-up* ...

Jyves: I get it now...

Jyves: YOU'RE TRYING TO RUIN MY RESTAURANT FORTRESS!

Mack: FORTRESS?!

Sam: You mean--?!

Jyves: That's right--I'm your opponent. I'll show you just what a real chef can do!

Jyves: Fortress, activate!

*nothing happens*

Jyves: ...

*Jyves moves over to push a giant button on the wall*

*the building begins to shake*

Mack: SAM! RUN!

Sam: Don't need to tell me twice!

*the two run towards the camera as the restaurant rises up out of the ground, revealing the bottom part of the fortress*

----

*Mack and Sam climb back up into the Briefcase*

Crew123: ~Welcome to--

Mack: *scowls* No time for that! Where's the bridge?

Crew2: You hear that boys? They wanna go to the bridge!

*one of them whistles, and more crew members show up*

Mack: Just how many of you guys are there?!

Crew4: We're generics!

*they pick up Mack and Sam*

Mack: HEY! What're you--!

Sam: Huh?

*the crew members carry them to the bridge*

Mack: PUT ME DOWN!!

Sam: Wheeeeee~!

Crew: ~To the bridge, to the bridge~

*they eventually get to the bridge*

Crew: ~Here we are at the bridge, the command center at the ridge~

*the main screen shows Jyves' fortress closing in fast*

Crew: ~The enemy approaches!~

Jyves: I won't let you guys destroy my restaurant!

Jyves: Hard-boiled Egg Bomb!

*launches eggs at the Briefcase, which explode on contact*

*rumble*

Crew: ~We're under seige! But our case won't flop that easily~

Mack: ENOUGH with the singing! How do we control this thing?!

Crew: First we need music~

Mack: Right. Music. *looks at the control panel--all the buttons look the same*

Mack: ARGH!! What is WITH this stupid thing?!

Mack: Which button is which?!

Sam: Use your head, silly!

Mack: DAMMIT!! *smashes head on control panel*

*a turntable flips out from the wall, along with a shelf of records*

Sam: Hey, you did it!

Sam: Oooh, old school!

Mack: Oh, that's just great. What're we gonna do, destroy his hearing?

Sam: It's worth a shot. *looks through the records*

Sam: *pulls one out [Gloom of the Duelist]* How about this?

Mack: I don't care! Just play it!

*Sam puts on the record*

Mack: Now what?

Crew: ~Sing, sing, sing with a swing!~

Mack: What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?!

Sam: Oh! I get it!

Sam: ~You gotta move a little to the right, a little to the left
Go straight ahead and throw a treble clef!~

*the Briefcase moves and launches treble clefs at the Restaurant*

Sam: There we go! You gotta sing the commands, Mack!

Mack: *glare* And come up with cheesy rhymes, too?

Crew: ~That's right! This's the way!~

*the Briefcase dodges more egg bombs*

Sam: Looks like some of those eggs were rotten!

Mack: *facepalm* ...

Jyves: Have a taste of this! Long-range Linguini!

*nothing happens*

Jyves: How come we're not attacking?

Plush JP: I'm terribly sorry, Chef Jyves. We're having some...trouble in the kitchen.

Jyves: What?

*runs to the kitchen*

Jyves: What's the hold-up, guys?

Plush Ramsay: UNBELIEVABLE!!

Plush Ramsay: You mean to tell me that you would actually SERVE this *BEEP*?

Plush Jyves: *nods* ...

Plush Ramsay: *BEEP*

*Plush Ramsay throws the plate across the room...and it hits Jyves in the face*

Plush Ramsay: Make it again! *BEEP*

Jyves: Who put YOU in charge of MY kitchen?!

Plush Ramsay: Don't you DARE talk back to me you *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*!

*Plush Jyves watches as they argue*

*outside, Announcer walks down the street*

*as he passes by the fortress, Jyves goes flying out*

Announcer: Wha--? How did that happen?!

*Mack and Sam watch what's happening on-screen*

Mack: Did he just get kicked out of his own restaurant?

Sam: I think he just got kicked out of his own restaurant...

Announcer: *appears on-screen* An Announcer appears! Command?

Mack: AAAUGH!!

Announcer: Well, it seems that due to some shennigans in the kitchen, Jyves can no longer continue the fight! That makes this round's winners Sam and Mack Shenanigan!

Mack: IT'S SHENNIGAN!! YOU GOT IT MIXED UP!!

Sam: Just let it go, Mack...

*outside*

Jyves: I can't believe I got kicked out of my own restaurant... Can't a guy make an honest living anymore?!

*Plush Jyves pats him on the shoulder*

Jyves: You're right... Tomorrow's another day. I won't give up.

Jyves: I still have the main course to prepare!

[END]